And I Ended Up Staying At Home

 A Beautiful Day at the Laudromat, Yesterday

(Although the Weather was About the Same Today)

Had a couple thoughts yesterday about driving up the peninsula, or going to a Cinema Cafe movie... but today all I did was make some awesome omelets for breakfast, bake banana bread for lunch, hang a few pictures upstairs (the ones I put into frames last night)... and suddenly I got the urge to clean up the front porch/entryway. Yesterday I painted the mail slot cover white... and I wanted to continue with touching up the trim around the door. But first I decided I'd clean it all up... including the vinyl siding that looked like it had never been cleaned before (ever). Three buckets of soapy water (and three sponges) later, everything looked brand new. So I got out the paint again and took care of all the trimmings. Then I decided to paint the concrete just below the doors since it was all cracked and discolored. This is something I wanted to fix the first day I saw the place... but I guess never got around to until now.

Church this evening was great! Continued their series leading up to Christmas of events that point to Jesus in the Old Testament. Today the topic was sacrifices... blood sacrifices (life is in the blood... without the shedding of it there is no forgiveness of sin), praise sacrifices, and finally, living sacrifices (and a lot about being able to approach God). Something I hadn't thought about before: the pastor mentioned that without Christ we wouldn't be able to approach God because we (in our sin) would be obliterated (as light obliterates darkness). What a thought!

For the rest of the evening, I am going to have a seafood dinner at home (crab and shrimp), and I'm going to watch To Sir with Love because my Darling made me think of it. :)

Jw

Bible Camp Weekend

Friday afternoon, I was one of the first to arrive. Got there a quarter to four, when check-in was supposed to start. Found my way to the fellowship hall that our church group was based at for the whole weekend, and got my room key (an actual key!) from Scott, who organized the trip. I also paid up for paintball the next day and put on my wristband that would admit me to all the meals in the dining hall. Charles, a close friend of Scott, drove over to direct me to my room (on the far side of camp). I followed him in my car and parked just outside my door. We chatted for a little while... "Chuckie" (as he called himself) was a former Marine, so we talked about our various experiences.

The evening session didn't start until 7, so I had plenty of time to myself while people trickled in and got situated. Ended up finding a bench swing between some of the lodges, and there I went through my memory verses and read 1 Peter in its entirety. A fitting, relaxing way to begin. The theme of weekend was "Jesus is Enough", a set of sermons Andy (the youth pastor, and young adult small group leader, and my friend) put together based on his study of the books The Naked Gospel and God Without Religion by Andrew Farley.

The first session addressed the misconceptions about forgiveness common in the church: once we're saved, we're completely forgiven - Jesus is enough for our forgiveness. He thoroughly explained 1 John 1:9 (addressed to non-believers), Matthew 6:15 and the Lord's Prayer ("forgive us our sins as we forgive..." which were given before the new covenant - before Jesus died). Yes, of course we forgive, but because of what Christ did for us (Col. 3:13, Eph. 4:32). He is enough for our forgiveness for all time.

The theme of the entire weekend can be summed up in something like this: Let's not rely on anything from the old covenant; we have a new and better one. Believers have absolute freedom by simply trusting the Spirit of the Lord at work in us. We don't need rules. If we sin, we will feel miserable because that's not what we're made for anymore. So we learn to trust that Spirit (Heb. 5:14), which leads us to make the decisions that will make us more like Christ, and there's nothing that can take us away from Him.

The second session, Saturday after breakfast, focused on our identity: are we living in the flesh or in the Spirit? Believers should find their identity in being a child of God, and nothing else. Everything else is of the flesh. This was important for me, because lately I feel I've been trying to have "good student" be my identity. The picture explains it so well...thanks Andy!

The third session, after dinner, was about How We Live... debunking the idea that we have to follow the Ten Commandments (or any rule) in order to follow Christ. But according to a lot of scripture we went over, you either keep the whole law or trust only in Christ, never a combination. Farley said in his second book (which I started today) that following the law after becoming a Christian is "spiritual adultery" (we're married with Christ - Rom. 7:4, if justified by the law, we're fallen from grace - Gal. 5:4). That is pretty strong language, but I think I'm beginning to wrap my head around it.

The final session this morning after breakfast focused on The Grace Life. God pours out his love into those who trust him; we come to know that love, and when we do, we are filled with his Spirit. And a very important, basic truth that I never paid attention to before: the Golden Rule is under the old covenant! John 13:34 gives us the new: "As I have loved you, so you must love one another." It is so simple, but subtle too... everything we do as Christians is based on Christ. Otherwise it is faulty. Christ is the standard; Christ is who we rely on. That is the gospel.

~

As for the rest of camp, I loved that too! :) I had a room/bathroom/queen bed to myself. Very comfortable, and I slept like a baby, getting up around 7:30 both mornings for breakfast at 8. Wow, the food was good! Everyone in camp (several church groups) gathered together at the same time in the dining hall for meals. Saturday breakfast was scrambled eggs, seasoned potatoes, sausage & bacon. I had oatmeal too... with brown sugar, raisins & milk. I managed to finish the last episode of The Civil War between meals and sessions that morning. Lunch was build-your-own sandwiches with lots of good meats and veggies. Decided on iced tea for a cold drink... and that was good because the weather was blistering warm during the day. There were no clouds for miles around; I don't remember the sky being that blue in ages.

The weather affected my breathing ability during paintball. I played with a bunch of the guys right after lunch. There is a little washed-out gully on the far side of the camp, with lots of barrels, bushes and wooden structures strewn about in it for cover. There were two teams of four... the first game was great! I found a secure spot behind three barrels and spent all my ammo keeping a couple guys pinned down. I got some more ammo from Chuckie outside the fighting area (he mostly just got shot). Upon returning, I figured I'd try and be more daring... bad choice. Got hit in the mask again, hit the deck, and then got smacked on the top of my head (where there is no protection). Boy, did that smart. I can still feel a little lump even now, and I had lots of people feel it at camp... lol... but thankfully, it never hurt beyond that first couple minutes. The second game we switched entry points, and again when I decided to be brave and advance to a new position I got nailed in the mask. Went up top and then came back down again with Mike Anderson (from my team). But again I got smacked in my wrist by Scott. Made a couple little scratches along with a little bump. On my way out, I got hit in the back of the right arm by crossfire... and that left a little bruise. Overall, a new experience, and it was fun. I was the only girl playing. One of the guys running it is trying to join the Navy at the moment, and asked me about the ASVAB. I was wearing an old painted pair of NWU pants.

Right after that, I stopped by to see if Kristin was up for hiking, but she wanted to nap for a while. So I changed and went to the pool for a quick swim (that was about 2:30). It felt so good to be weightless! Haven't swum in such a long time... so nice! Jenny was there watching kids, and she told me to try the water-slide and offered to take pictures of me doing so... with great results.

I heard people talking at the pool about doing the zip-line next. I thought to myself that I'd like to try it too... so after cleaning up and changing into normal clothes I came back and asked if I could get in line as well... and the lady in charge let me... with no extra fee! It was like climbing up a telephone pole (with a harness and cord attached, of course) and then swinging down a cable about the length of a football field. So much fun!!!

It wasn't much longer before dinner (chicken & rice, salad) and our third session. After that had finished, we gathered up on the hill at the fire pit for some s'more roasting. I helped Ned get the chocolate and crackers ready, and helped people when they brought us their burnt marshmallows.

This morning's breakfast was great! Tiny, 4-inch, delicious, thick pancakes... with lots of strawberries on top! I had four! lol! And an egg casserole, another little cup of oatmeal, and then afterwords, some decaff coffee, just how my Darling likes it! :) Got the opportunity to drive a Prius for a moment... somebody needed a complicated favor. It took me a minute to understand what he needed at first, but I was glad to help. I had packed up and checked out of my room before breakfast, so I didn't have anything else to do before the last session. Except after I did it, I was able to call Mom and tell her "Happy Mother's Day". I explored the grounds after the session was over, then read the first part of God Without Religion in my cooled car as I waited the hour until lunch. Lunch was fantastic! Homemade lasagna with mushrooms in it! And delicious bread-sticks, salad and iced tea. It was our final bit of fellowship. Said goodbye, got in the car and took off on a scenic route home.

Instead of going right back to the freeway, I drove 25 miles north to Julian, where I got out, had a piece of their famous apple pie with ice creme at the very same restaurant we stopped by for a bathroom break on the MWR trip last Easter. Was so glad I could finally buy something there! :)

Continued down CA-78 to Ramona, CA, where I stopped to check the map on my phone to make sure I took the right road. Across the street was a local produce vendor, so I stopped for a couple fresh avocados and a bundle of asparagus. CA-78 turned into CA-67 at that corner, and it took me into El Cajon and onto I-8 and back home. But not before introducing me to grand views of the nearby mountains. So glad I took this route over the dull interstate.

What a weekend!
Jw

Suddenly Active

Coming home from school today I was just a bit frazzled. I was very tired... mostly physically tired, but also tired of the power-points and the people. We've just started our sixth week, and we've got ten more to go after that. Yay.

So after snacking on some lunch, I watched the first DVD of astronomy (creation/evolution debate) about the planets that my parents sent me. Lots of interesting facts about the planets and their moons... and how all evolutionary theories about origins (requiring billions of years) come up hallow when looking at the conditions of the solar system. Biggest problems lie in planet's magnetism, young appearance, presence of certain substances and physical attributes. It went over facts about each planet and all the main moons... and wow, what pictures. One of the things I love most about the solar system is the total solar eclipse. How our moon would be positioned perfectly to block out the sun, just so we could see and study the sun's corona. Think for a moment about the chances of that happening without planning. Talk about a witness in the sky! It felt wonderful to think about something other than myself and my own situation for a while.

Then I took a three-hour nap. Boy, do I feel better... and I hope I can sleep again tonight. When I got up, my brand new German lessons from Rosetta Stone had arrived. So I set it up and did the first lesson. While loading, I read more in Starship Troopers, finishing a chapter (it's right when he makes it "over the hump" in boot camp - a meaningful moment). And I listened to the entire book of Romans while blogging about the weekend (that I'd been too tired to worry about before).

So, gosh... I'm feeling much better. And I opened that sweet Jacquie Lawson valentine from my Darling... Friday can't come fast enough.

Jw

Well, Why Not?

A Lutheran Church Bell Choir performed at Mission Village Fellowship today! That was a fun way to bring in the advent season! And the pastor gave the first sermon of four, dealing with concepts related to Christmas. The first was a message about "Hope" and what specifically it means related to Christianity. And the food afterwords was good too... veggies, meat - cheese & crackers, wonderful sugar cookies, and even a little pumpkin pie.

I decided that I wanted to take the coaster train an hour up the coast today, to Oceanside. I had been curious the other day and checked out the prices while waiting for the trolley and found that a round trip ticket was only $11... so why not go exploring? So I did! The earliest departure after church was 12:30, so I killed a little time by checking out the free museum on the corner of Old Town, just across from the transit center. That had neat displays about history of the area and several large vintage photos upstairs as well. I was glad I got there as early as I did though, because there were lots of folks on their way to the Charger's game at Qualcomm Stadium in Mission Valley, and parking spots were filling up.

The Coaster came right on time, and continued on a tight schedule. Got an upper-deck seat on the side closest to the ocean. Boy, what a view! It started out on the east side of I-5, cutting its way alongside canyons, but right after Torrey Pines State Park between La Jolla and Del Mar It went under the freeway and ran alongside the ocean! My favorite sight! There was a bit of a drop-off down to the wide beach, but that just meant we had even a better view. Saw dozens of surfers and more people walking or running along the shore.

It took an hour to get to Oceanside, with five stops between it and Old Town. I'd like to visit at least three of them sometime. :) I had no idea about what was in Oceanside, but I was pleasantly surprised. Neat little shops, lots of military surplus/uniform outlets (as it is located just south of Camp Pendelton), nice places to eat, and a lovely beachfront and fishing pier. It was unpretentious, and not at all like a tourist trap. Stopped in a few stores and finished some Christmas shopping, had NY style pizza for dinner along with a dish of spaghetti and garlic bread and I sat and watched the sad Chargers game on the flat screen TV on the wall. Then I walked out to the beach, took a few pictures and returned to the transit center. Had a frozen yogurt treat along the way, flavored mango with little hunks of raspberry, kiwi & strawberry. Neat shop: it's called The Red Cup. You dispense your own yogurt and pick your own toppings then pay by the weight.
(here are the photos, posted to FB)

The 4:33 Coaster was the only one back to SD, though, so I could not miss it! Turned out it was the perfect time. Allowed for three hours in town, a perfect viewing of a gorgeous sunset, and got me back just in time to pick up Laramie from the train station downtown so we could go to small group.

Small group was smaller than normal, but we had a marvelous time anyway. Tough topics on theology. Since we are descended from Adam, we are sinners. Then if we trust Christ, we are spiritually reborn in him, but still live in the flesh. Loved the chapter talking about what that actually is. It's our physical circumstances here on Earth... a person's background and talents. Putting our confidence in it and satisfying its desires is what makes it at odds with God's Holy Spirit. Now that we are saints, purified and perfected by Christ's sacrifice once for all time, we have the choice not to follow the desires of the flesh: putting confidence in our ability to provide ourselves with comfort or education or status, to name a few of the not so conspicuously bad ones. To quote the author: "The flesh is a way to think... it encourages self-effort... it seeks identity and purpose... it is not the old self. We choose to depend on it or the Spirit at any given moment... Before we were in Christ we had no choice but to gain identity and a sense of fulfillment from the flesh. But now, as children of God, there's a battle within us... When we walk after the flesh, we're not being ourselves... depending on the flesh goes against our [new] nature... because of our new identity in Christ, being ourselves and expressing Christ are one and the same... our new self and our union with his Spirit cause us to want what he wants... he has installed within us an intense and never-ending desire to find fulfillment through expressing his life."

Wow! It was fun to talk about. We shared our conversion stories... came up from a quote in a previous chapter: "The real thing isn't about trying hard to act differently. Becoming a Christian is like dying and waking up the next day as a totally new person." Technically, this is true, but it doesn't always feel like it. For instance, I feel as if I have always been a Christian. I don't remember a "night & day" feeling... when I was very young I had nightmares about an animated Bible story, of all things. Got up, talked with Mom, and she said I didn't need to be afraid... I needed to trust Jesus. So I did. I made it my own when as a teenager I took 5 minutes to think over if I really wanted this to be my life. There was no way around it; I couldn't deny it.

Goodness, what a day! What blessings!
Jw

Important Little Side Notes

Can't believe I forgot to talk about it in detail... but Mike and I finished reading through the Psalms on Wednesday, October 5th. We'd started all the way back in March, just about a month after I arrived in SD. On the 6th, he read me one of our favorites, then on Friday the 7th we began Proverbs. It's a lovely way to spend time in the Bible. So far we've been faithful to it every day.

And in other very interesting news, I looked on Craig's List Monday evening for a room to rent nearby. I tried once, a couple days before to no avail, but this time it not only sounded right, but worked out as well. Marie lives a mile-and-a-half from base on the other side of Lib Station. She has a cat named Custer and one other renter who'll be staying through Dec. My room is right next to the bathroom, is furnished with a bed, desk, closet, TV, & shelves. It's a month-by-month basis, and the $630 rent includes utilities, wi-fi and cable. I have to move out of the barracks since they're going to give me SD housing allowance. I'm planning on moving in this Friday!

So I've gone over there the last two nights. Did some blogging at Panera the first night (and enjoyed a seasonal pumpkin muffin), then drove the mile-and-a-half to the library last night to send mom some pictures. Stopped by Chipotle for a kid's meal, since I wasn't very hungry.

And I worked out yesterday morning with Witte, doing bench press and free weights. It wasn't't a regular workout day because we had quarters that morning. I was given good marks for my shiny boots.

Jw



PS... here are the pics from the Craig's List posting... I'll have a couch/bed! The back of the couch is removable pillows. The whole wall to the right is covered in shelving, and the closet is around the corner to the left.

Leading the Group

Tonight's small group (with the Presbyterian church) was on part 3 in A Hole in Our Gospel, by Richard Sterns (the US president of World Vision). I had signed up to lead since people were reluctant too. I felt the same way... I went through most of the winter study without doing anything... I had joined after the assignments were filled in. But this time, the sign-up sheet was right in front of me with a glaring blank space for tonight.

I had read most of the section on my honeymoon... reading about the history and mechanics of extreme poverty while going 500 mph at 40,000 feet, and spending a descent amount of money on my happiness.

I really liked his opening stuff about the 75% disparity between the rich and the poor in the world. But then he made some sweeping statements about history, and started spouting in flowery language about obvious things... like we don't care about suffering unless it's personal somehow. And a recurring theme was a prayer by the founder to be able to experience sorrow for the poor like God does. I have heard this before and I don't quite buy it. I think it's kind of arrogant to talk that way; sorrow like that would crush me. He did re-word it well though: be soft-hearted and open to God's work.

So I spent a couple hours in the wee small hours of the morning writing down things like this and main points to talk about. The study questions in the back were completely worthless, so I was mostly winging it. The topic is something I've pondered quite a bit... and is rather important to me: how much are we supposed to help people far away who are very poor? How much should we leave to the politicians to bring about change in the third-world countries? How much of our God-given excess should be shared with those who have less?

I liked how he referenced lots of scriptures about how much God cares about the poor. Like Ezekiel 16:49... Sodom's primary sin was one of excess and uncaring for the poor and needy. And I liked how he described those people's conditions and outlined what it means to be poor and what keeps people in that situation.

A struggle for me is the people here on the streets... they are right here... but they have different options than the very poor in other countries. If they'd only try to work, they'd do better. One big point he made is that in many countries, it doesn't matter how hard you work; there is no way to make it better. So what does that mean for what I do with my money? I don't know.

The best part was how he talked about giving a hand-up instead of a handout. Giving small business loans, or things that will help them take care of themselves... like a clean water source.

Okay, you get the point. We talked for a little over an hour, and thankfully, many had opinions. I'd ask a question or bring up a point in the book to keep it flowing. They say I did a good job, but all I felt were butterflies in my stomach nearly the whole time.

"In View of Mercy"

It was an outstanding service this morning. The youth pastor (the young, skinny guy with curly blond hair), who had lead worship my first two Sundays at Mission Village, preached on the gospel. He called it Gospel 101, or something like that. He threw tons of passages at us, some of them famous, all outlining the simple news of salvation by faith (that the entire world cannot fully come to grips with - yes, even me). It was a duh moment for me when he talked about scriptures that seem to contradict this... he used Matthew 6, the sermon on the mount... anyone who doesn't forgive will not be forgiven. I guess I haven't thought about it much, but yes, this seems to invalidate what Paul preached over and over. Faith alone. But... And... Nope! It really is that simple.

He talked about the coming of the new covenant. How Jesus says at the last supper that his blood is the beginning of it. That clearly means that the sermon on the mount (and I really feel I should slap my forehead here) was given to illustrate the old covenant. Jesus was showing us that even though we may think we keep the 10 commandments, we don't. Stuff like, "Anyone who ever says "you fool" to anyone is in danger of hell fire... anyone who hates someone is guilty of murder". That's impossible to keep... and that's the point.

And then he moved on to 1 John 1:9... and sort of shocked me with saying John wasn't talking to believers when he wrote it. If we are saved, we "forgive just as Christ forgave you" (Ephesians). Yes, we ask for forgiveness when we sin; but we are already saved. We don't have to... we want to. Because as John says, the light doesn't have anything to do with the darkness.

This has been the first time in a long time I've been made to think when I've attended church. It was so good.

And not only did they make me think, but they also served a brunch afterwords. Cheese, spinach & bacon quiche, sausage & potato soup, bread, lemon & chocolate cakes, and unsweetened iced tea! A feast!

I went directly to Balboa Park after this, to enjoy more free museums. Air & Space Museum first (James... you really need to go sometime!). I went back in 2009, and it was fun again. Paid attention to some of the things I overlooked in a hurry then. The portraits of people in the Flying Hall of Fame throughout... the new display on naval aviation... the detail of the Dauntless, the Hellcat and the Wildcat they have on a created deck of a carrier (with a zero flying overhead). I loved seeing it all again. They had "Flyboys" playing in the very good WWI exhibit, and "Tora,Tora,Tora" playing under the makeshift ready-room of the carrier.

Okay... and for the first time I saw the houses of Pacific relations... the title confused me, as most of them were European countries. Little huts with tid-bits of that specific country displayed in each, along with traditional treats and travel books. I was impressed.

Also for the first time, the Hall of Sports Champions from San Diego... including a live large mouth bass in a tank by the pictures of sports fishermen. I stopped in the Museum of Photography again for a new exhibit on portraits, and again to the San Diego History Museum for a look at the paintings. But they also had a new permanent exhibit... a big collection of photographs was donated by the family of a local studio for black people back in the 1960's. Interesting to look at!

And for the first time the Model Railroad Museum. This I paid $2.50 for, but I didn't mind. :) They had several models of downtown San Diego and the surrounding country from different periods... first the 1930's, then moving on through the 60's or so. The even had a couple different models of El Centro... one with a working drive-in theater, playing Laurel and Hardy. lol

Dinner was a modest half sandwich and a lemon bar at the cafe near these last three things. And as I was leaving the park I thought again how I wished I had my camera, with all the interesting clouds and lovely light... and while driving back I decided to come back with them. I loaded the best onto Facebook as I talked with Mike back on base.

What a day.
Jp

Happy Tales

When I woke up, Mom was just preparing to leave to pick up Dad from the cruise ship. He had been on the cruise to Alaska for a week with his Mom and sister, and a few other relatives. So I kept myself busy doing a couple tasks I wanted done before I leave. Updated the movie spreadsheet and created the Facebook album of the last two trips. By the time I did that, Mom, Dad and Grandma had just returned... so I quickly changed out of my pajamas. :)

We did a little bit of prep for the party... Mom had already done little things along the way, like make the salmon dip, bake the cookies & lemon bars, and prepare the lettuce. We had to get the veggie tray together and slice the tomatoes... and things like that.

Meg & Jason came early to help get things ready and soon after, Andie, Nathan & the kids arrived. Tom and Bette came next. They're *long*time friends of my parents... and Tom was in the Navy himself for a stint. Aunt Penny, Uncle Don and Don's sister Linda were right after them. This was our group for lunch... it was a grand time. As people left, more came! Jason's parents, and later, our friends, the Mayfields. I was able to fit in a walk with the poor dog... so much food and people and baby bunnies (that Andie brought over), he was going crazy. :)

By 6 pm, most had gone. I wanted to go to my church one more time and Mom & Dad shared it with me. It was a wonderful sermon on remembering the incredible holiness of God, and how that's the best thing to be reminded of... as for the last few weeks they had been reading First Corinthians, and how we should keep ourselves morally and sexually pure ("Be holy, for I am holy." 1 Peter 1). The sermon itself focused on Isaiah's encounter with God (Isaiah 6: 1-8) and how he instantly saw how incredibly unholy he was. Loved how the pastor took this and brought it back to the cross: how we see God's holiness through his intense hatred of sin - enough to kill his son, and then his perfect grace in the long-standing offer of forgiveness to anyone who will accept it. It was the perfect reminder at the perfect time.

Back at home we enjoyed "My Favorite Wife" (Cary Grant) for a barrel of laughs. But saying goodnight was a little more meaningful... a couple tears were shed as Mom and I hugged for a few moments. Puppy joined in the crying as he lay at our feet, waiting to play... and we couldn't help but laughing. :)

And then it was one more wonderful talk with Mike before bed, and my last sleep as I live here. sigh

Sweet dreams,
Jp

Trips and Trials

Church yesterday evening was excellent, just as last week.

After taking a late morning nap (because I woke up sorta early again) and after taking the dog on another walk (he's been a bundle of energy lately) and taking pictures of the trees in the park, I headed to Redmond for a couple of tasks: pick up a poster frame at Ben Franklin's (I found a couple neat sheets of stickers as well... maple leaves and koi fish), I went to Panera for lunch and to do some planning work on the big trip. I needed to collect all the addresses for all the places I'm going so I can quick enter them into the GPS as I'm there. It would be much more efficient than toting around 30 pages of Google Maps instructions. :) It was a little frustrating at times since those NPS websites never have a street address listed. They only have "directions".

This affair took a few hours, so by the time I was done I got another snack to eat and then headed home. By that time it was nearly time for the service to start. I got there a little late, but I'm very glad I went. It was the summation of last week's message about God's grace; this was about his faithfulness: how he is faithful and how I should respond to it. How I need to keep Christ at the center of my life.

After spending so much time today focused on one thing alone (myself, and having the best trip possible), it was a bit sobering to think about what I'm doing. Spending so much time and money on travel. Why am I joining the Navy? To serve and to be available for whatever the Lord has in store. I feel a bit like I'm going on a binge of self-centeredness before I give up some of my freedoms, sort of like some silly people do before giving something up for Lent. I don't really believe that I am; the Lord gave me the opportunity and means to enjoy it. I just need to live every single day like he is the most important, because he should be. And that's where I'm really struggling, I think. I feel very sad that I'm so unfamiliar with scripture and about how very little I read of it. I even have an audio copy... I have no excuse! And I think I should start serving a ministry somewhere, but I haven't been able to think of one yet. But I think I'm doing pretty well on one aspect of the "trusting him" part. He's given me great courage to take this next step in my life.

So I just need to remember to be satisfied with whatever happens on the trip and enjoy whatever I get to see, because I know there are going to be a thousand things along the way that I'll wish I could experience. I hope I don't forget that doing it in the first place is a great blessing. How silly would that be to be impatient and irritated the whole time? :)

Jp

Dying Inside

This weekend was a nice, lazy one. On Saturday I spent most of the day cleaning up my desk... going through the big drawer (that was overflowing) of stuff I've collected from recent trips. Postcards, programs, receipts, park maps... all that stuff. So it was a real walk down memory lane (since 2008).

Sunday I woke up rather early... 7:30 I think. And I got a couple things done... ordered a case for my baby laptop... and I read in my whale book from Friday, sitting at my desk with the sunshine spilling all over me. It looked cold outside (it was frosty that morning), but it sure was comfortably warm in the light. Between that and a late breakfast, I got rather tired by 1:30 or so and took a four-hour nap! Yikes! But it had clouded over, so I wasn't really missing anything. :)

I had planned on going to church at 6pm, so I got up at the perfect moment. Church was in the second week of mission's week, where the focus is to remember the Lord's work around the world. I think I'll send them a letter asking for advice on some things, since I really feel that my next adventure is a sort of mission; going to be available to minister to people who I run into.

We watched the Battle of Britain (from Netflix) that night, and I really liked it, but they had way too much of an abrupt ending. I wanted to know more about what happened to Christopher Plummer, and a few other characters, but instead they have a sequence of air battles all mushed together and then the Germans all of a sudden pulling out. Yay! We won! Oh, I knew that...

Today started off okay, but I really felt like my spirit was dying as I looked outside and knew that the temp was about 60 and saw the soft sunshine... and I was stuck at work. I was kinda frustrated with stuff all day (and I wasn't very busy at work either) and I knew at one (or two) points I definitely lost my good sense/temper and sinned. Coming home to mom's fabulous spaghetti dinner helped me relax, but what was best was the Bible study I tried out at church (the pastor wants us all to try out small groups for a couple weeks - and I said "okay"). We studied Romans 7 & 8, which talk about the war between the flesh (our humanity) and the Spirit of God living in us, and how Paul talks about "Who shall deliver me from this body of death?!" Oh, how I agree with him! I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord! A timely, excellent reminder of scripture.

The weather outside tonight is simply perfect. I have my window open and it's 10pm! Cool breezes and absolutely dry, although cloudy. When I got home I simply couldn't go inside. Instead I jogged around our 1/2 mile block. I went inside, and then took the dog out. And I met a neighbor who was walking her dog... I had too... I had to corral Spiffy LOL :) She's only been here a little over a year, and is also a UW grad. :)

I think I might be ready for one more day... maybe.

Jp

Today

I slept in a bit, and had a great little breakfast of orange juice, a little dish of cottage cheese, a banana and some wheat toast with butter & jam. I'm feeling pretty good, because I've been dropping a little weight lately. I haven't been doing anything special; I've just been watching my portions in size and quantity.

And after that I listened to an online sermon from my church about God's refining fire, as spoken about in Malachi, the last book of the Old Testament, referring to Jesus. I've been terrible about getting to church, and some of that is just because I'm wrestling with the whole idea still... how important is it to go? I'm not exactly sure. But I know it is good to have corporate time with other Christians, so I think I will go to the 6pm service tonight.

I've had this on my mind recently: what is the difference between believing in God and actually being saved from sin? Many people would say that they are Christians... but how do you tell?

John 15:5 > "I am the vine, you are the branches. He that abides in me and I in him, the same brings forth much fruit; for without me you can do nothing." And verse 8 > "Herein is my Father glorified, that you bear much fruit; so shall you be my disciples."

What is fruit? Galations 5:22-23> "Love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance." Not in this passage, but also important (and mentioned in many places) is the fear of God, his power and greatness.

And James 1:22 > "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." And what does it say? It says the greatest commandments are to love God and your neighbor... How do you love God, who you cannot see? We love him by keeping his commandment to love each other. John 13:35 > "By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love one to another."

What is this kind of love? It's not a feeling. Often times, I really don't like some people. Sometimes I don't even like myself. All hope of having perfect love would depend on how you're feeling that day... and that is madness. The sort of love he wants us to have is the kind that treats people with kindness all the time, even when you don't feel like it. It is an action that is decided upon, and with God's help it is possible. Defining "kindness" precisely is a little beyond me... but I think you know what I mean.

Salvation changes the way you think and speak and act. It is fashioning yourself after the Lord's character in order to please him. It's in trusting him that he is good and that he helps us and forgives us from sin if we turn from our sin and ask forgiveness.

It's a change that he requires, because he is holy. His holiness must punish sin because he is just. Why would anyone not want to share in his holiness that he offers through trust in Jesus? All I can say is that it's a life full of peace. Hope isn't lost if things go bad, or if someone is mean, because he is always there. And joy is full because he is good.

Jp

All This Waiting is Driving Me Mad, Defense Attorney Benton

Waiting for my friend to get here from Florida this Friday, waiting for my brother to get here from Arizona the day after that, waiting for an idea to come to me about something I'm attempting to write, waiting for Christmas itself... waiting for tomorrow night... :)

And I had my own share of waiting around on Thursday night... some I didn't mind at all, and some that was... driving me mad. The way the tests were set up there were a couple hours for me to sit around and read! I read in the end of Deuteronomy for a while: about the blessings for following and cursing for disobeying God's law that he had just finalized with Israel. And then after reading something this week about death, I thought a bit about why God punishes sin so severely. Sin is really just rejecting God ways, as God is perfect. I suppose I wouldn't want sin to be let off if it is bad... I just have difficulty thinking of sin like God does: "abhorring" it. That's a rather stronger feeling than I've ever had about it (I'm a redeemed sinner). But I think I need to.

But after that bit of study that only lasted through the final itself (until 5), I then got out 'Bridge to Terabithia' and finished it, not without tears. What a good one! At that point (around 7), I had another 45 minutes to read in my Bluejacket's Manuel. It's a little dry at this point: all about tying knots and seamanship. I'm reading the whole thing so I am familiar with where to find things if I need it again.

I did enjoy not being a student though. All those students I watched over had to write three long essays about ethical philosophy, ending with "What is it to be moral?" Yikes! They were either writing for a solid hour, or switching writing and staring at the wall. :) And when I was reading in the lobby, I could see into the computer lab. Later on I noticed a young man with his head in his hands in front of a computer with a mostly blank-looking Word document open. Ouch.

Meg then came and picked me up and we went to get her 'other' at the UW. Unfortunately, he was in a meeting that went way over... by like another hour and some after we got there. That drove me to be a little mad, as it was Dad's birthday that day and we wanted to go have cake with him. But it ended up working out okay.

Friday (yesterday) was very low key. It was so mundane that I barely remember anything I did... well, I had breakfast, had a headache, picked up my room, watched "Don't Act Like That", and planned a huge trip to New England for sometime next year in order to see friends, all the little states I've never been to and most of the northern Revolutionary War sites. :) According to Google, it would be about 1,200 miles of driving in all, visiting 15-16 different sites. Ambitious? yes. Insane? I hope not.

Jp

Here We Are At the End

of a wonderfully relaxing weekend.

I woke up in time for early service this morning! This was good, because we started lunch with the family at noon... which is before 2nd service gets over. It was on the last half of Hebrews 12, the end of a book basically dealing with how Christians should respond to persecution. We're supposed to respond by having peace, and holiness, and by clinging to God's mercy, and finally by worshiping him, "where we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear." This surprised me greatly, as I have just come off a long study on worship this week. The pastor talked for a moment about acceptable worship of God, which is what that long series of sermons that I read were all about! What perfect timing! I really shouldn't be shocked though. The Lord had this all planned. He is teaching me that I need to make a conscious decision to worship him acceptably every day. And I do that by obeying his commands to love him and my neighbor... and in doing that, and in thinking about his word, my heart should overflow with thanksgiving not only on Sunday, but often times. And this is what I desire: to worship him because he is holy and good.

We only had an hour or so after lunch was over before we had to take my brother back to the airport. It was certainly sad, but it is encouraging because he is planning on coming home so soon. I hope his leave goes through alright. Oh! and he is getting promoted on Tuesday to Lance Corporal (E-3) because of his time-in-service! :) He has a hard time though, because he is so lonely down in Yuma. And he feels like he isn't doing much in the way of "serving the country", but we continued to remind him that it is a great service to sacrifice his freedom to do whatever he wants. I hope he was encouraged.

Goodness! I was tired today! After eating a bit of pie and watching a bit of NFL when we got back, I fell asleep for 2 hours! Yikes! And the weather today has been nice... it was dry this evening, so I took the dog for a walk... and I didn't need to prod him along. I guess he doesn't care much for walking in the cold and rain either. :)

Jp

Studies

What a couple days I've had!

After work let out Dad took Mom and I out to Red Lobster in Lynnwood for a fabulous lunch with a coupon he had. Yuuuuum! Shrimp & Crab pasta!

When we got home, I needed to sit down in a bad way (because of the time of month) and I opened up the copy of a set of sermons that I printed out on Thursday. It was something recommended by the pastor that taught my Bible class. It is all about the importance of worshipping God "in spirit and in truth" like Jesus says we should in John 4:24. It is really nice to have a researcher point out what relatively vague phrases like this mean in connection with the rest of scripture. Wow!

After a couple hours of reading 3 sermons straight through, I needed a break. We stuck in a Thin Man movie... and oh, was that nice! "Another Thin Man", I think. Just love Powell & Loy.

Today I've had a lovely day. But it started at 6 am with lots of cramps. So I quietly went into Mom & Dad's room to get the heating pad and stayed awake in bed for a few hours, listening first to an hour of music, and then the book of Revelation straight through. There's nothing quite like listening to Revelation right after studying worship. The two are so tightly entwined.

I finished all that around 9 am, and found that cramps were gone. It is always good to lie still for a long time. It happened to also be the time Mom was getting up too, so after washing myself up a little, we all sat down to a really nice breakfast of oatmeal, egg and spam. Yum!

Mom and Dad took off to see Grandma this afternoon, so I had the afternoon to do things I've wanted to do for a long time: cancel that card that I already got the benefits from before the annual fee kicks in, close that extra checking account I got for the same sort of reason, get my car fixed up: change the oil, rotate the tires... and by the time I got home, Mom and Dad soon returned. We watched two Reilly episodes and a WENN, just for fun, and in the theme for the night... :)

Jp

Is It Possible?

Sunday, November 8:

I really liked the Will Ferrel movie 'Elf'. I know it sounds unbelievable, but the guy can actually be funny sometimes. He's mostly too crass and stupid for me, but he wasn't in this one. It was especially fun because it had lots of references to Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer and a few other Christmas movies without being too formulaic. We watched it right after lunch because my friend Becky had it with her. It was a good one to watch with the family.

After the movie we played a few hands of Skip-Bo... poor Becky! :) I won all three (or was it four?) times. We then went out to get something at Fred Meyer and had Chinese for dinner while we were out. A perfectly lovely evening, really.

When I came home, I was pretty tired, but Mom and I read in Corinthians again. And after that, I picked up Mere Christianity again and finished it! Yay! But it was so long ago that I started it, I read the first book of it again for a refresher. So good. The Lord used a part in the end to speak to me directly about a sin that I was holding on to... and I let go. Sweet freedom :) I am shocked with myself that I was tempted for a minute to say "Forget you!" to God about it. He is so patient with us.

Jp

Walkin' in Running

After working on that last super-long post on Sunday, we watched the next in Foyle's War. I'm always worried that they're going to kill off Foyle's son (he's in the RAF), but they just gave him battle fatigue. Whew! I really love this series.

Yesterday was wild! I woke up way early, and then unpacked and cleaned myself up. As I walked in the door at work at my usual time... a little after 7... my boss called my cell to make sure I was coming in. And as soon as I got upstairs I barely had time to sit down all day long. Worked right through lunch and stayed a little late. It was pitch black outside when I left at 5:30... so much for bike riding after work until about March.

Not only was it more than a full day of work, but after a quick dinner, I ran off to my Bible class. We studied Galatians and Ephesians a little closer than we've done in the others to discuss Christian freedom in Christ and how he becomes our identity. We talked about the difference between doing what Christ commands with delight rather than through duty. It's the only way Christianity can really work. Otherwise we start thinking we have to do all this stuff to impress God, and that is exactly what he wants to save us from. How hard would it be to impress perfection and holiness? Impossible, as far as I've experienced. So us Christians do things that please him and abstain from others that don't because we love him. His desires become our desires (slowly, but surely). Thank the Lord he has promised to help us in this.

I started listening to the Owensboro WENN program in my car on the way to class. It is so different from what I'm used to! It's fun when it deviates from the show! Except of course, when Victor speaks... :) No one can replace JBL. In order to unwind when I got home, we watched Valentino Speaks for some plot-less fun. And it was... fantastic.

This morning, you should have seen the valley! I didn't see it from my regular hill because I made it to Jazzercise this morning... but from the parking lot I saw the fog coming up to the trees on the opposite side with a thin, wispy layer of pink and yellow clouds surrounding it. Mt. Rainier was lit up in a glow of gold and the moon was still fully visible in the west. And then I walked in the door. Here we go again!

Jp

Teachings

Just came from my class... we worked our way through 1 & 2 Corinthians tonight, while we talked about other things like scripture translations, sanctification again (as the Corinthian Church was struggling with sin and someone in class didn't understand how they could be saved), the importance and sacredness of communion (at a level I hadn't considered before), and like every week, we talked about how the spiritual and material realms combine in Christ as he is Heaven come to Earth. I need to know scripture more... My head is swimming, thinking of all the things I want to do more. There needs to be a real effort made on my part to work at knowing the Bible better. That way I'll get to know Christ better; and what could be better?

I don't know how recently this was adopted, but the current Sailor's Creed (that I memorized on Sunday - on orders) is:

I am a United States Sailor.
I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States of America and I will obey the orders of those appointed over me.
I represent the fighting spirit of the Navy and those who have gone before me to defend democracy and freedom around the world.
I am proud to serve my country's Navy combat team
with Honor, Courage and Commitment.
I am committed to excellence and the fair treatment of all.

Now I'm really goin' swimmin'.

Jp

Until We Meet Again

I think this is the only time today I get access to a computer... right after work today, I'm heading over to my recruiter's and then we go on to Seattle where I stay the night. It'll be an adventure though, as I've never stayed overnight in downtown before :) I hope I'll get to see Monk on a hotel TV! That's something to look forward to at least. I'm bringing about four small books with me for tonight's stay and tomorrow morning's Physical. I'm not sure when I get done on Saturday, but I'll make sure to post yay or nay right away.

This week has been good. I was a little disheartened early on about my weight, so I spent a lot of time doing cardio workouts: there was Monday's run in the morning, and Wednesday I did Jazzercise, Thursday I did another mile in the morning as well as an eight-mile bike ride after work. I did Jazzercize again today and I've been keeping the meals to a minimum. For instance, I just had cucumber for breakfast. We'll see how it goes tomorrow!

Tuesday's class interfered with my workouts, but it was good for my heart in a different way :) We talked a lot about theology... in fact, some people who came early had asked questions about salvation, so when I arrived, the teacher was already teaching. The overview is sort of a backdrop as we talk about important doctrine, such as justification, sanctification and glorification. Gosh, I have read Romans lots of times, but I never stopped and thought about the implications of these things and what they specifically mean. Good to do! Good to be able to describe what it is you are reading! Duh!

On Netflix this week we had the first disc of 'Reilly: Ace of Spies' and I enjoyed it. Dude, that guy gets himself in sticky situations! My parents remember watching this on TV back when I was very little, so they are enjoying watching some of it for the first time. When we started the first one, I was surprised that it was set in 1901... not much done about that time period! So far it's covered oil in Russia, the Russo-Japanese War and the naval arms race with Germany in 1905... neat-o!

So, until Saturday afternoon, adieu! And although I won't be able to go to homecoming... Go Huskies!

Jp

To Be More Specific

There are a couple things I didn't have the patience or memory to mention last night... Another name for Puget Sound yesterday could have been the Enormous Lake of Shining Waters. We didn't have direct sunlight right away, but for at least 5 out of the 6+ hours the sun came out and blinded us on our port side, causing the waves to sparkle as far as you could see... on that note, if it wasn't for the tops of the Olympic mountains floating above a massive cloud-bank over the peninsula, you could think that you were in the middle of the ocean, the water spread out so far.

And what I forgot to mention about the service in Ballard, is that the overall message talking about the attributes of God was for us not to worry about our lives. He used Mary's attitude (vs. 46-55) about God during a tough circumstance to show that if we have the same attitude about him we shouldn't worry either, because we know that God will take care of us as he has always done. What a perfect time for me to be reminded of this as I go into a weekend that is likely to change the course of my life.

A little song I learned as a kid:

"Cheer up, ye saints of God, there's nothing to worry about, nothing to make you feel afraid, nothing to make you doubt. Remember Jesus never fails, so why not trust him and shout? You'll be sorry you worried at all tomorrow morning." :)

Jp

Back To School

Last night I went to the first session of a seven-week class that my church is offering on a "Survey of the New Testament". I couldn't bear to have an October where I wasn't studying anything... :) Anyway, I've never been taught about any part of the Bible like this, and I thought I might give it a try. We did an introduction last night, a quick overview covering the history, writing style, and the authors of the New Testament. We also talked about theories in general, like Sola Scriptura and how that differs from the Catholic Church and how most of the New Testament was written to answer all sorts of questions about other religious thought that crept into the early church at the time, as it still does today.

In the following weeks, we are going to go through about 4 books each session, looking at the author, time it was written, how and why it was written, the basic message of it, and so on. I'm really looking forward to it. It's only on Tuesdays until the middle of November, so it isn't even a huge commitment. The pastor who is teaching it isn't from our church, but he is very knowledgeable, and very easy to listen to. Our own pastor is sitting in on the class as well; I think they are good friends. The class only has about twenty people in it, and of course, I am the only young person. I am beginning to think that I don't share much of anything in common with people my own age.

[forgot to mention... on the way to the class at church, a bald eagle flew right over my car (coming right at me) as I was stuck in I-405 North traffic! Gosh, that was neat!]

On Monday night after dinner, I sat down and watched the first episode of "The National Parks" online. I really enjoyed it, but along with all the history and the beautiful landscapes and old photographs (it only covered the story up to 1890), there was a lot of meaty philosophy in there about how we should think about nature and our beautiful wild places. I learned a lot about John Muir, which my Christian homeschool history textbooks seemed to skip over. I think that's a real shame, although he presented his ideas in a rather controversial manner, so I understand why they did. I liked some of the things he said, although he was a little over the top at times. He was an extremist, and I like balance. We'll see if I can cram five more episodes in before Friday night... I suppose there's always Netflix if I can't.

Oh, and big, big news! Well, I'm excited at least... Mom and I are going to visit my brother in Arizona the weekend of Halloween. He's stationed at the Marine Air Base in Yuma. We're going to fly down to San Diego on Friday morning, drive just over 2 hours to Yuma, spend the rest of Friday and all of Saturday and Sunday with him, go back to San Diego Sunday night and stay there for an early Monday morning flight back to Seattle. With that deal I got from American Express and Delta earlier this year, I got a free companion ticket. Delta doesn't fly to Yuma, so that's why we have to do SD again. I'm becoming a regular visitor!

Jp